Beloved Aussie Songs Soon To Be Movies

Following the exciting news that Paul Kelly’s classic “How To Make Gravy” is to be adapted into a feature film, the whole industry has jumped on the song-to-movie bandwagon. Here are just a few of the much-loved Australian anthems that will soon be seen on the big screen.

Khe Sanh

A disillusioned Vietnam veteran (Ben Mendelsson), having been driven round the bend by the nightlife on an oil rig, decides to start a new life in Hong Kong. After a tense race against the clock to reach the airport in time to catch the last plane, he achieves his dream of relentlessly beating a mattress.

Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again?

A disillusioned art critic (Guy Pearce) travels to Santa Fe to write a book on Renoir, only to find that he cannot stop crying about his failed relationship. After numerous attempts to track down his ex, hampered by locals’ inability to understand his detailed descriptions, he finally confronts her, only to receive an aggressively disappointing response.

Howzat?

A disillusioned test cricketer (Liam Hemsworth) discovers that his girlfriend (Teresa Palmer) has been cheating on him. He utterly fails to get over it.

What About Me?

A pretty girl (Bindi Irwin) and a little boy (Bob Irwin) meet in a corner shop and discover that they are both fuelled by burning resentment. They embark on a bloody rampage against those who have wronged them (the Wiggles).

I Touch Myself

A woman (Asher Keddie) touches herself.

Somebody That I Used To Know

A disillusioned young man (Hugh Sheridan) meets a disillusioned young woman (Jessica Marais). Over the course of their relationship, they have their disillusionment confirmed via each other’s appalling behaviour. They separate, having learnt nothing.

Shaddap You Face

A disillusioned migrant (Doris Younane) meets a non-disillusioned migrant (Anh Do), who teaches her just how wonderful Australia is and why we are all lucky to live here.

You Shook Me All Night Long

A bumbling everyman (Patrick Brammall) meets a beautiful cyborg (Isla Fisher) and falls in love with her due to her scrupulously-maintained internal machinery. However, a malfunction in her imported femoral pistons causes him a severe injury, and he must ask himself whether the sex is really worth the insomnia.

Jump In My Car

A desperate young woman (Miranda Tapsell) suspects a helpful stranger (Michael Caton) of being a dangerous predator, but having no other means of getting home, accepts a lift from him, whereupon a sudden twist reveals that SHE is the predator, preying on men in order to get free transport over vast distances.

! (The Song Formerly Known As)

A disillusioned agoraphobic (Shaun Micallef) meets the woman of his dreams (Colette Mann), but a rift develops in their relationship when he finds himself unable to satisfy her insatiable desire for a social life. Over time, he teaches her the beauty of staying home and not having any friends, and they live happily ever after in ugly pants.

I Was Only 19

The same disillusioned Vietnam veteran as before (but this time played by Noah Taylor) returns to Australia and visits a doctor (Robyn Nevin) to discover the source of his mysterious intermittent rash. On a road trip to find a natural remedy for the ailment, the veteran and his disabled comrade Frankie (Gary Sinise) discover that the real Vietnam War was the friends they made along the way.

Run to Paradise

A disillusioned chronic masturbator (Rodger Corser) finds that his girlfriend Jenny (Claudia Karvan) and best friend Johnny (Mick Molloy) have mysteriously disappeared. A lengthy investigation, against the dire warnings of his mother (Noni Hazlehurst), leads him to a sinister cult led by a charismatic leader (Sam Neill), who is amassing an army of exclusively blonde devotees. Finding purpose in the cult’s lifestyle, the masturbator happily drinks poison and joins Johnny and Jenny in Paradise as it turns out the cult is actually the one true faith.

What great Aussie songs would YOU like to see made into movies?