Pandemic Parenting

How To Raise A Child Without Letting Them Get Complacent

Having a five-year-old child is never easy, but during a pandemic it gets particularly difficult. From the moment Covid first loomed on our horizon, we realised we were in for a challenge: how to keep our child safe, while also making sure she had as normal a childhood as possible?

We resolved straight away that we would not let ourselves succumb to fear. It’s very easy, in such times as these, to become terrified that your kid is missing out on vital stages of development and being deprived of a happy young life. We knew that we couldn’t let such concerns get in the way of what we knew was important: teaching our daughter to never let her guard down.

Of course, a pandemic is a very difficult thing to explain to a five-year-old, especially when you’ve already gone to such lengths to make sure she’s unfamiliar with reality. We decided to make a game of it. “There’s an invisible dragon outside,” we told her, “and it burns people to death if it catches them.” This was a good way of gently letting her know how important it was to never go outside.

Of course, this presented problems when she saw us leaving the house to gather supplies: every time one of us would walk out the door, she would start screaming and crying that “the dragon’s going to kill Daddy!” or “Mummy’s getting burnt!” It was a tricky dilemma, but we solved it by explaining that the dragon couldn’t see you if you wore a mask. She asked us if she should wear a mask in the house too, in case the dragon got inside. This was an unexpected gift: “Of course you should,” we told her, relieved that the problem we’d been puzzling over - how to get her to wear a mask at all times - had solved itself.

Naturally there came a point at which our daughter started to miss school and her friends. There is nothing more heartbreaking than a child crying about not seeing her friends, unless of course it is a child who washes her hands for less than twenty seconds. But how could she see her friends, when we knew that doing so was likely to kill her? We considered simply telling her this, but we decided that at just five, hearing that her friends are lethal was a little harsh. Instead we took a more reassuring route, telling her that her friends didn’t like her anymore, and so even if she went out, they wouldn’t want to see her. This satisfied her.

School was a different matter: she knew that usually she’d be going to school, and she started to ask why she couldn’t go. This was one of those moments where, as a parent, you simply must bite the bullet. “The school burnt down,” we told her. “Oh,” she replied. “Was it the dragon?” “Sure, why not,” we replied.

We did make one big mistake in guiding our precious child through the pandemic: we let her watch television. At some point she caught some of the news, and this meant more questions (our attempts to train her to never ask questions have so far been only partially successful). She asked us why there were people walking around in the streets, seemingly unafraid of dragons. It was only through some quick thinking that we escaped her awkward interrogation, letting her know that those people were ghosts, and that ghosts can enter your body through your mouth if you’re not wearing a mask. This was a wonderful example of turning a negative into a positive.

Naturally once vaccines became available, we made sure we were all triple-vaxxed as soon as possible. Of course the vaccine was not available to five-year-olds, so once again we had to be creative. By using a trenchcoat, a hat, sunglasses and some stilts, we managed to get an appointment and get the life-saving vaccine into our darling daughter. We also managed to pocket a few dozen extra doses on the way out of the clinic, which we periodically boost ourselves with at home.

We are inspired by just how brave and resilient our little pandemic warrior has proved. Every day she wakes up and scrubs herself thoroughly without even being told to anymore. Although she can’t go outside to play, or see other children, she has shown her creativity by inventing her own games to play inside by herself: games like “Stay Completely Silent Or They’ll Get You”, or “Who Can Scream Loudest?” She also loves arts and crafts, and last week made a mobile field hospital out of egg cartons.

I won’t pretend it’s been easy, but in a way, the pandemic has made us better parents. It’s only a shame that it has to end - although obviously we will never tell her that.