Oh…you’re upset that the daily press conferences are ending?
You’re sad that you won’t get to do all “holding government to account” you’ve been doing? All that “safeguarding democracy” that you’ve made your life’s work - you’re disappointed you won’t be doing that on a daily basis anymore?
You, who show up every morning to throw out inane questions about Bunnings and the Reject Shop rather than making the smallest effort to find out where and how the virus is actually spreading?
You, who see it as a primary part of your job to get the public foaming at the mouth about people going to the beach, even though you know full well that that’s not dangerous at all?
You, who whenever an opportunity has presented itself to inform the public about what IS actually dangerous and what is not, have decided instead to just keep trying to keep that foam coming?
You, who know that your career benefits from people being angry and scared and so frame every story you report in the manner best suited to maximise anger and fear?
You, who have better access than anyone to the facts, the data, and the experts, but who choose to continually tell your audience that you’re confused and baffled and flummoxed by the simplest things, so as to prevent the public actually becoming informed, in case being informed makes them less anxious?
You, who spread ignorance and misinformation faster than Delta and broadcast the views of those who wail the loudest and gnash teeth the hardest, rather than those who know the most?
You, who have spent a lifetime refusing to see anything through any prism other than that of party politics, and who only show up to press conferences in the hope of extracting a quote that you can pretend to be outraged by?
You, who sneer at anyone outside your own profession who dares to have an opinion of their own and throw tantrums whenever it’s suggested that journalists do not have exclusive rights to the Truth?
It’s you, then, who are now railing against the unconscionable assault on our way of life that is the decrease in frequency of opportunities for you to publicly fail to do your job?
Well, truly and sincerely: go fuck yourself.