What I imagine "Adolescence" is like, based on reviews

The purest take is the uninformed one

INT: Jamie’s house. Jamie’s DAD is playing with Jamie’s little sister. Jamie’s MUM is reading to Jamie’s little brother.

Enter JAMIE.

DAD: Hi Jamie, want to play with us as part of the regular and healthy family time that I make sure we always spend together?

JAMIE: (sullenly) No.

MUM: Would you like to read a book, as I have always encouraged you to do?

JAMIE: (toxically) No. I’m going to my room to gain unsupervised access to the entire internet.

MUM: But Jamie -

DAD: No, let him go. It’s important that we as parents allow our children to express themselves in whatever way they feel best.

A loud KNOCKING on the door.

DAD: Whatever can that be?

Fifty HEAVILY ARMED POLICE OFFICERS crash through the wall with a battering ram.

MUM: Heavens!

The POLICE OFFICERS run upstairs and come back with Jamie, bound and gagged.

POLICEMAN: We are arresting your son on suspicion of being a white murderer.

DAD: That can’t be! Jamie has always been a good boy, his moral character moulded by our attentive and loving parenting within a stable home! Murderers don’t come from good homes!

POLICEMAN: (looking into camera) DON’T THEY?

DAD and MUM: (gasp)

Forty-minute single tracking shot of police car driving to station with Jamie inside. There he is interrogated by a CONFLICTED DETECTIVE.

DETECTIVE: Stop wetting your pants in moving childish terror, Jamie, and tell me why you stabbed that girl to death.

JAMIE (revealingly(: I want my mum and dad, they are kind to me.

DETECTIVE: That can’t be true, crimes don’t happen to kids whose parents are kind.

JAMIE: (looking into camera) AND YET…

Twenty-minute tracking shot of Jamie’s Dad coming to the station.

DAD: Why have you arrested my boy? Don’t you know that he is well-adjusted?

DETECTIVE: Oh yes? Would a well-adjusted boy do…THIS?

DAD: Aieee! A video of my son stabbing a girl to death! Any mystery that I thought attached to these events has instantly dissipated! I have to go home now and wonder where I went wrong!

INT: UNDERFUNDED PUBLIC SCHOOL. A HARRIED TEACHER is sitting, head in hands, at his desk, while all the students fire handguns at each other in sexist ways.

HARRIED TEACHER: I am well-meaning but simply helpless to deal with the complexities of modern children. If only there were better training for teachers like me in navigating the difficult waters of online activities.

DISRESPECTFUL STUDENT: Shut up, you dumb old bastard, and let me play Candy Crush.

HARRIED TEACHER: I don’t know what to do except agree.

Seventy-minute tracking shot back to police station, where Jamie is being questioned by a COMPASSIONATE YET STEELY SOCIAL WORKER.

SOCIAL WORKER: Why did you kill that girl, Jamie?

JAMIE (masculinely): I’m just a poor little boy who is constantly being persecuted by women, like YOU!

SOCIAL WORKER: Why do you think you are persecuted by women, Jamie, in spite of statistical evidence that misogyny is a major problem in the world today?

JAMIE (recognisably): I don’t think misogyny is a problem, I think it’s awesome.

SOCIAL WORKER: Who told you misogyny is awesome, Jamie?

JAMIE (quotably): Andrew Tate told me, on the internet, which I used for many hours without any adult guidance.

SOCIAL WORKER: Aha, you’ve fallen into my clever trap.

JAMIE (ripped from the headlinesly): Shut up, you are just a woman who I hate now because I am redpilled.

SOCIAL WORKER: Don’t you realise that you have been fooled by the internet and that murder is wrong?

JAMIE (heart-rendingly): I suppose I do, really.

SOCIAL WORKER: Do you still hate women?

JAMIE (cautionary talely): A bit.

SOCIAL WORKER: That is progress.

DETECTIVE: How can I stop my child becoming just like Jamie and disrespecting women on TikTok?

SOCIAL WORKER: The only way is to talk to your child and show him as much Netflix as possible.

DAD: I cannot assuage my guilt over this.

SOCIAL WORKER: Good, it’s your fault, as is true of all fathers.

ENTIRE CAST assembles in a line and addresses the camera.

CAST: Think about it!

THE END